I’m a nerd

I just counted the number of RSS feeds I go through in a day. It’s 148. That’s not counting the 3-5 that I have yet to add to the list. I guess about 10 of them only update sporadically. Another 15 or so are b5 bloggers or my own blogs. another 15 are news sites i check randomly. So that’s just over 100 that I spend time reading every day. Wow.

The sad thing sometimes I think I need to go find more blogs, cuz I run out of ones to read from time to time. geez.

It’s in my genes!

I read this article on an article that is on an article on Jezebel today.

I hope that this means I can put away my exercise DVDs and just swear of white bread, which I don’t eat anyway. Wait. I stopped eating bad carbs (maybe not sugar. I need chocolate to live) and I have yet to lose weight. That means my body is programmed to have a booty the size on beyonce’s on a frame the size on a midget? Hm.

I have to go give away my skinny pants now.

wanted: wordpress genius

Anyone know how to run two blogs under the same wordpress? Or, let me rephrase that: I want to have sections on my site, like a page will only have fashion posts, another page will have home posts, etc. How do I do so?

Please keep in mind I suck at CSS.

There will be no compensation, but I will love you forever.

Ben Harper and confusion

There’s a line in a Ben Harper song I was listening to this weekend. “With so many people to love in my life, why do I worry about one?”

So true. It’s agonizing. I have tons of friends and good people, but for some reason, I’ve been shutting myself off from most of them, glazing over the surface of my problems with The Boy and not even mentioning the daily confusion that runs through my thoughts. I think I should stop talking to him because every time I do, I go from “Oh, he’s so not changing and coming back” to “he really does love me and wants to be the person I need.”

I feel bad because there are people that want to see me like that and I’m just toying right now. I care about everyone, deeply, but at this point, I’m pretty sure whoever gets my wrath after this is going to be chewed up and spit out, with all my residual anger from all this. And I can’t really care for anyone like that right now. I’m waiting for him to come back and at the same time, I want to get over it. Can’t really do both.

So, here I am, buying new clothes, going out and flirting, getting my hair cut, new makeup, etc. I instinctual want him to see me like this and say “damn, I miss her. Let me fix myself so we can try again.” But Jesus, how many times does that happen? Never? No man changes for a girl unless he really, deeply, truly loves her and part of me is very hurt that it appears he doesn’t. I’m being burned in the worst way.

We have relationship with potential, my hairstylist said. Totally true. We love because we love the best in people. Women, that is. Men love what is there, we love what we think will be there and when a person doesn’t turn out like we anticipate, it hurts. We have invested in a future that was never going to happen. Wasted time on another fantasy.

So I have no answers for Mr. Harper. I feel him though. Totally.

boo.

I have had more issues with my laptop than anyone I know. It’s a Macbook and is seriously my baby.  This is why I almost had a heart attack when I heard the ominous clicking noises yesterday afternoon.

My hard drive failed. Again. This is the second time this has happened, and I don’t know why.

But, the nice guy at the Apple store here gave me a new hard drive for the cost of the part only, which isn’t cheap, but could’ve been a lot worse.

I now need to find a way to back up my stuff like, all the time. I didn’t lose my music (all on my iPod) or my blogging stuff (FTPed to my host), but I did lose all my pictures for the past year or so. That was stupid, not to back that stuff up.

But now I have a shiny new hard drive, and I promise I’ll treat this one better.

When you said you were better off without me

I heard a crack

I think it was my heart breaking

And when you said

it’s all my fault and not my fault at all

I heard a buzz

and now there’s nothing at all

no more imagining you’re on the other side of the bed

no phone calls about nothing

What’s that they said about two paths in the wood?

You take one, I’ll take the other

We can’t travel together anymore.

So get your tee-shirts and the jewelry you gave me

Get your ceviche and take my traveling dreams

Go the other way

and the wood will block your way back

because you’re better off without me.