lock and key

I let you in here thinking that it’d be safe and you’d never trample on the eggshells like you have over and over again it hurts too much to speak words out loud but you’re right there’s something wrong with you. When someone lets you in to the place where no one goes and you throw a party in the name of yourself there’s nothing left for me to do but throw you out and lock this all away again. It’s so pretty in the light and the pieces shine with a brilliance I think that most would find illuminating but what did you do but take all that trust and not treat this like the special place it is. They said i deserved better but I saw flashes of something that was amazing in you that no one else could give me or so I thought and the way you touched me sent sparks flying I felt like you could do the thing that no one else has done and see what I see in myself in here. But it never works the way I want it to and letting you go has hurt me but then again its my fault for thinking you would be the man I saw in your eyes instead of the man you choose to act like but god it’s so hard to not see hope in other people it’s the last shred of my personality not tampered with my sarcasm and coldness and now I’m not so sure I can ever let this happen again. It just hurts so much god oh god I don’t know how I never saw the darkness in here creeping in over there by the corner again sharp as razors and cutting open pieces of me over and over and over again. No. Let’s lock this away and never let anyone in here again I can’t stand to be disappointed again by one more person who I thought could see the light and the brilliance it’s almost better to enjoy this alone forever rather than be in this place with a broken heart and razors inching closer to hand without me wanting them there. God just leave me alone.

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